Robert Pattinson: Uh… Hey, Katie… I was wondering if maybe we could change something? I can’t help but notice Edward sparkles in the sun… That seems a little…uh… Maybe he could grow bat wings, or breathe fire or something?
Catherine Hardwicke: I’d love to do that, I would, but the sparkling is kind of a big plot point in the origin–
Robert Pattinson: …It’s not in the original book.
Catherine Hardwicke: It is, though. Go look.
Robert Pattinson: ….You’re fucking with me.
Catherine Hardwicke: I only wish I was, Rob.
Robert Pattinson: But vampires don’t sparkle. What kind of vampire sparkles?
Catherine Hardwick: …I’m so sorry.
Robert Pattinson: Damn it Pattinson, you need to start reading the source material before you sign on to movie deals. You know what? Fine. Fine! Apply the stupid glitter. Hopefully people forget about this in a couple years, or something and I can still go on to be a respected actor!